Shattered

As a child our home life at times was unsettling because my parents' marriage was strained. One parent occasionally burst in a torrent of tears followed by screaming and tossing things about in sheer frustration. Peace was shattered. I became confused in trying to figure out what (or who) went wrong and how to restore harmony. It seemed just minutes before the house was quiet and restful. I soon learned the source of this emotional storm. The object of my parent's frustration was directed to the individual who sat on the couch watching television. Apparently unaffected by the maelstrom would quietly slip out the room only to make matters worse.

Little did I understood how those disruptive sounds had shattered something internally to deal with certain noises in my life. Of course, there was my own internal noise that had nothing to do with anyone or circumstances. God had to go to the root of the problem to bring me to a restful place.

As I grow older certain sounds like banging, slamming doors, loud voices etc create an emotional upset so severe that it required calling out to God for calmness. Depending on the noise and how long it continues, it can cause a rage that tightens my chest and constricts my breathing.

At the time of writing this blog I have lived in a studio that is anything but noise free - last year it was a single mother and daughter who had lived above us - the daughter often bounced a ball on the floor and constantly dropped things on the floor - now there's a new neighbor who walks heavily on the floor. Beside our studio is another neighbor doing construction at various hours and you can hear their conversations in our bathroom through the vent! To say the least we are looking for another place.

As a disability examiner I learned there is a condition called misophonia or selective sound sensitivity. It is a strong dislike or hatred of sounds - sounds uniquely distasteful to the individual - like gum smacking, dogs barking, breathing sounds etc. which can create strong emotional responses - as in my own experience. There is some treatment options to alleviate the discomfort like exercise, wearing earplugs (which I do nearly every night) and sound therapy (like white noise) to re-train the person's perception and hearing.

But I believe there is no greater healing than what God offers in the Scripture. My medicine is Psalms 23:2-3. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters [white noise, my words]. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.(KJV).

God knows how to stop a cacophony in the soul and make it a soothing symphony. Think of Saul distressed by an evil spirit until David played the harp! It's not easy when you don't have control over certain noises but God remains in control of our souls - to cause us to lay down in green pastures and lead us to waters that calm our noise shattered souls.

To those who have suffered from noise - a piercing scream of emotional pain or a gun blast taking a life in war or an angry firing of heated words that seared your mind or perhaps the dripping sound of those who repeatedly tell you how you'll never make it....

God says:

Peace be still.

And the waves and winds cease - at the sound of His calm yet powerful voice.

The voice of the LORD is upon the waters: the God of glory thundereth: the LORD is upon many waters.
Psalms 29:3, KJV