Overcoming Abandonment

God wants to restore hope to those who have been abandoned and suffer the painful effects of being left alone.

Abandonment can take various forms. In school you may have been the last to be picked for a sports team having been overlooked by those who have more potential to bring home a win. So you sit on the sidelines watching and waiting for the day when your name is called. Or without a warning a friend stops visiting or calling. Your voice messages are ignored and letters returned. One day your spouse walks out the front door and into the arms of another who has won his or her heart.

Abandonment can even be a dismissive look as if you are invisible. The message is clear: you are not wanted. You could be in a crowded room but the conversations are rarely directed to you because the inner circles of those attending are not interested in your input.

Abandonment is not just an experience, an emotion or an event but a spiritual condition. Jesus promises, "I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you." (John 14:8, KJV). There is a grieving that abandonment brings that carries far into the future effecting ourselves and relationships. Over time this grief can turn to bitterness and resentment. These corrosive agents eat us alive with the often hidden and gnawing fear of once again being abandoned by those we love.

I believe how we pray can reveal our secret fear of abandonment. Some pray with religious catch phrases in an effort to keep God impersonal and at a distance because intimacy is uncomfortable and painful. Will you still love me when I fail? Others try to work feverishly for His favor. They fast, pray and read the Scriptures with such intense devotion but rarely can they rest in His love. They struggle to be sure everything is just right so God has no occasion like others to leave them. But the cry in prayer is still the same: "God, stay with me, please. Don't leave me."

And His response to us restores hope. The Lord speaking through Moses said these words: "The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged" (Deuteronomy 31:8, NIV). God is with us and for us. The truth is we are not alone or left to ourselves to figure it out.

Those who are able to overcome abandonment are those who unroll the welcome mat for the Holy Spirit to walk right into heart - even into the most painful places - to take up residence. Jesus promised the Holy Spirit will take residence in us (John 14:16).

The abandoned have an empty room in their hearts for Him to fill with His everlasting love, power and joy.

Perhaps that is why the abandoned know the secret power of His presence being more valuable and precious than those who have abandoned them. Why? Because they have been adopted as His sons and daughters (Ephesians 1:5) and this will never ever be taken away from us!