A Leprous Heart

Each morning at 4:00 a.m. I meet the Lord in the prayer closet (yes, literally a closet) to worship, pray and read the Scriptures.

The night before I had a troubling dream. My eyes flew open sometime in the early morning hours. I was afraid the vivid and colorful scenes had actually occurred but was soon relieved it was just a dream. Now sitting with the bible open on my lap I noticed my chest was pulsating so strongly that it moved my shirt. I thought of the pressures of work. Maybe it was anxiety? I thought of my father who has a heart condition. After more than an hour of this sensation, I reached for the cell phone to find the nearest cardiologist. At least I felt no sharp jabbing pains or shortness of breath.

Then another fear stirred in my mind. What if I suddenly lose the ability to function or think? So I confessed any sin to be sure I was right in His eyes and prayed for healing.

Suddenly the air shifted in the small room. I knew the Lord was present and wanted to speak to me. He did not address the possibility of a heart failure or stroke but another failure that was corrupting my heart. The Lord brought to my attention my conversations with my wife about a ministry leader and the way he manages the team.

He reminded me of Miriam who spoke against Moses. He was God's appointed leader who happened to be her brother. As a result of her embittered speech it says, "And the cloud departed from off the tabernacle; and, behold, Miriam became leprous, white as snow: and Aaron looked upon Miriam, and, behold, she was leprous." (Numbers 12:10). She was driven outside the camp for a week. Afterwards she was healed and led back into the camp.

How many believer's hearts have become leprous with bitterness, resentment or anger toward their pastors or brothers and sisters in Christ? This corruption spreads to other places in their lives. They wonder why they don't experience victory over besetting sins. Why God seems to distant and untouchable. Could it be they are standing outside the camp (the body of Christ where His presence dwells) because of an inward corruption that is so deadly only a God ordained quarantine will bring them back to their senses?

I confessed my sin of talking about the leader and asked for the Lord's help to honor this man. I asked the Lord to go to the depths of my heart. To those painful places where leaders misused their authority and position. It was then the Lord caused me to understand the corruption in my heart gave way to a disturbing dream. What infects the heart will effect the mind. Beloved, we must be careful not to give an inch to the Enemy even if we think we are in the right or believe we have certain entitlements. We must have a heart fully assured God is just and will vindicate us. Otherwise, our hearts will become leprous - an internal rotting from within - that eventually will cause complete heart failure.

God was merciful to Miriam and did not leave her outside the camp rather He had nearly a half a million people waited for her! Numbers 12:15 says, "So Miriam was confined outside the camp for seven days, and the people did not move on until Miriam was brought back in."

Beloved, we should not be so quick to offer our opinions and thoughts. Rather we should confess and pray for one another that we may be healed (James 5:16). So that wholly together we can move forward and enter into all that God has promised us.