Some of us who struggle with anxiety find it difficult to rest in God's love. It can be difficult to understand how deeply He loves us. Greater still to learn of His love in human relationships! Such relationships are fraught with strengths, weakness, failures and victories. Yet this is the means God chooses to express His love in the body of Christ. One of the most profound and beautiful expression of God's love is found in the relationship of a husband and wife. The apostle Paul draws from marriage as an illustration of God's love toward His bride (Ephesians 5:22-33).
Still we struggle to accept the love of God at face value in the life of a believer. We may find ourselves working to please (too many yeses and very little refusals). Or we try to gain the person's approval at the cost of our own strength. We can be anxious about what the other person thinks even though they hadn't said anything unkind or negative. Our minds make up exaggerated stories of "what ifs" that play into our doubts and fears of being rejected. We tend to belabor over the finest details to make things near perfect only to create more problems and tension in the relationship.
When we don't rest in love we are not at peace. Isaiah 26:3 says, "Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee." (KJV). Who we trust matters for our peace of mind. God is to be trusted in our relationships and we are to entrust those relationships to Him.
When we are fully assured of God's love for us we are at peace even in the most difficult times in our relationships. Such peace sets our hearts in order and sustains our relationships. Paul instructs us, "Submit to one another out of reverence of Christ." (NIV). A submitted will is a will under the governorship of the Holy Spirit. Otherwise, relationships can become anxious from conflict resulting in chaos and confusion (he said... she said... when all that matters is what He says).
We can't will someone us to love us. But when our will is submitted to Christ, whatever our desires or longings as good as they may be is submitted to the control of the Holy Spirit. This is a God directed life that learns he or she is loved first and foremost by God. A person who can love freely without yoking another individual to their personal burden of anxiety and fears is a person at rest. They don't place demands on the will of another to act or respond because they draw strength from the Lord. Right relating with God means right relating in the natural.
When we are at rest in His love we can let a relationship mature and flourish even if it means "growing away" from each other knowing He is the vine and we are the branches - our love is only extended, enriched and at rest in Christ and this is true of our relationships (1 John 3:20).
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