I want to deviate a bit from my normal writings to share a letter that I wrote to my father. Except for this letter, all letters are handwritten. The Lord restored our relationship after 16 or so years of silence. We write and call on a regular basis. This is truly an astounding thing the Lord did for us.
Dear Dad,
Please pardon the impersonal typed letter, but I must deviate from a handwritten letter so my words are a bit clearer and hopefully, the message of my heart.
Tomorrow I’m going to have a blood draw. I’ll have to fast 12 hours which starts about the time I was crafting this letter (6:00 p.m.). I’ll take the train to work as usual, but this time I’ll exit it at the Rose Quarter (where Portland’s stadium and conference center is located).
I’ll leave Nancy behind and aboard another train that will take me to the medical center. I don’t like to think of sitting alone while staring out the window for soon the questions start to swirl through my mind. Of late, my dreams are troubled with odd images and events that are disjointed leaving me waking up feeling more exhausted than rested. However, there is a peace that settles over me as I know that I’m right where God wants me.
There is no plan B. Everything is on God’s schedule – to make all things beautiful – and He is on time – always.
Using the train as illustration, the doors open and I step off, to all that God has in store for me. I leave behind this once runaway train, a life that I once tried to conduct, but nearly collided in utter destruction. Oh, what a comfort to know the sovereignty of God, His absolute headship over my life! Dad, I’m learning to rest in His love and step aside and let him lead, even through a dark tunnel.
I’m reminded of what God said to me over a year ago, one late afternoon. I’m going to do astounding things – things that would even astound you. And so I recall the Scriptures. Is there anything too hard for me? For what is impossible with man, is possible with God. And all things are possible to those who believe.
One of the astounding things is your letters. It opens up the gate to your heart and mine. Whenever I receive them, I hold it tightly in my hand and savor every word.
Only recently I started to notice a change in how I related to the Lord. There’s a renewed confidence and strength. To truly believe His promises like never before. Even my prayers are bolder and stronger as a new found love for Him sweeps over me whenever I call out “Father!”
And this is the astounding thing.
The gaps and breeches in my soul, that at times felt more like the Grand Canyon, are starting to fill in. Every letter I learn a little more about you, a little more trust and love is expressed and this has translated to relating to God as a good and kind Father.
Just like my Daddy.
So, thank you, Dad for your words of encouragement. Thank you for taking the time to tell me about your day, your pain and victories. No longer are the words father and trust just some nice phrase, but a powerful truth melding together to press me onward to a brighter future!
As you stated in your letter, that I could ask you any question, but truth be told I’m satisfied. I have no questions to ask, but remain content to know my father in this present, precious season. For as long as God grants us breath our todays will far pale in comparison to our yesterdays. Indeed, we are moving from glory to glory as we are changed in His image!
In my immaturity I wanted an ideal father, but as I grow older, it’s the father that I read in your letters, that I want the most. May I make you proud by living this life for God alone both in my life and in my death.
Love your son,
Andrew
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