Bite Size Truth and Love

The sensitive balance of speaking the right amount of truth in love is challenging.

Communicating truth is the most effective within a relationship. A relationship thrives and matures where both love and trust are shared by both parties. Ephesians 4:15 says, "Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ." (NIV).

When we speak the truth in love we are not speaking about our own reality (perceived or real), but the reality presented by God’s word.

Too much truth can be too hard for people to digest or comprehend all at once without being offended. While too much love, may be enabling a person to remain in a pitiful condition, while failing to be truthful.

Those offended by the truth will argue their point of view. But when we speak the truth of God's word, no matter how hard or difficult, in love, we are on safe ground. In my opinion those stung by the truth, respect those who are willing to take the risk to say something, then say nothing at all!

A balance of love and truth helps form a healthy, Godly perspective so we can avoid being an offense and when we are the offended party.

When we just speak the truth without love it similar to what Paul describes in I Corinthians 13:1, “If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal” (NIV).

The word “resounding” in the original means to be noisy or to roar like the sea and the word “clanging” is a war-like sound. Truth without love is abrasive, cold and can sound much like a dull roar in the ear of the listener. How you say something (in a loving tone or in anger) is just as important as to what you are saying.

If we don’t speak the truth but only communicate a message of love we set no expectation for change or challenge those things that need to be addressed in our lives. In essence, we are voiding conflict that will promote growth and healing. Not only in our own lives, but in the community of believers. We are called to " grow up into Him who is the Head".

Often we tend to opt for a “softer” conversations that stay more on a superficial level. I believe this is because many of us have not been taught how to best tell the truth in love in a constructive and edifying manner.

The key to speaking the truth in love is Colossians 3:13. We need to “bear” with one another which mean to be patient and endure. Most offenses result when we don’t suffer long with those who may not understand or take more time to mature. Patience will keep us from being an offense and offending others.

Let patience have her perfect work (James 1:4) especially in learning the fine art of communicating the love and truth of God's word - in measured bite sizes for those who are hungry and desire change (I Peter 2:2).