Today I rolled out of bed then headed toward the bathroom for a long hot shower. Then I stumbled into the kitchen where I made a cup of coffee. I sat for a few minutes reading the book of Romans. Twenty minutes later I gently woke my wife to get ready for our dental appointment at eight o'clock.
Perhaps unspoken was a concern in the back of our minds about the discomfort in my mouth. My tongue felt parched so I made every attempt to drink more water. For several weeks my throat and the roof of my mouth burned and ached. My voice was hoarse and rough. There was tiny white patch in center of my tongue. No matter how much I flossed and brushed my teeth I couldn't escape the feeling that something was wrong.
Perhaps it started some weeks ago when reading a prayer request of a man who had oral cancer. He was told they were taking out his tongue. As someone who is in the ministry of interceding this frightened me though I know people can pray regardless of any speech impediment. And it made me angry thinking just how much the Devil would like to cut out my tongue or any number of saints who pray. So the pounding thought began that I might have oral cancer.
After my dental cleaning I walked to my office when my wife phone to say the doctor had stepped into the office would I come back for an examination? I agreed and pushed to my feet feeling a bit apprehensive. For several minutes the doctor examined my tongue and used a camera to capture a few images.
There followed a few seconds of silence.
"Your tongue is fine," he said but as he pointed to the images on the screen, "You have couple of cracked teeth that need a crown and cap." Apparently a blood vessel had broke near the tip of my tongue.
Later that night my wife and I walked home from the office. A storm had broke with the wind and rain slashing in all directions. She leaned in telling me how she was relived to hear the news from the doctor. The comfort of her presence and feeling her relief laid to rest my fears. We were thankful for God's care in our lives.
I'm reminded of the Scripture in Ecclesiastes 4:12. Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken (NIV).
We were married in Singapore in 1994. So begin a 21 year journey of walking together with God - a three strand cord - that has faced many challenges but always in the end God gave us victory and a deepening love for each other. A lasting love that moves past the temporal discomforts and the things in this life that fade so quickly for a love which God gives us eternally.
Beloved, God want us as the church, His bride, to walk together - being knitted in love (Colossians 2:2) - so no matter what we face our love for Him will outlast and outwit any scheme of the devil!
Saturday, June 27, 2015
Saturday, June 20, 2015
The Tenderness Of Christ To Overcome Self-Abuse
We hear the horrific stories in the media of spousal and child abuse. Abuse can be spiritual, emotional, physical or sexual.
And then there is self abuse.
I believe this form of abuse is just as devastating. Several weeks ago my sister's ex-husband lost his brother to alcoholism. My sister plead for him to stop but his condition worsen. She called for help but it was too late. His liver died from years of drinking and he bleed out.
Self abuse can take on any number of forms like cutting oneself, degrading sexual activities, alcohol or drugs. Or it can take the form of shutting down to the point you don't care and give up - sadly inviting opportunity for people to abuse you - only to see this as a form of punishment because you feel you deserve it.
I remember when a guest speaker told me that I loathed myself. Loath is a strong word for hate. I quietly agreed. I did and said things I regretted and hated living under the shadow of my shame (though God did not see it as such - whenever He forgives - He forgets, Isaiah 43:25).
Loathing is just one of the many roots that are tied to self-abuse. Yes, it's true that some people have done terrible things to another person who had not hated themselves until that moment of violation. Now they recriminate themselves when they did not do anything wrong.
Whatever the cause or reason for self abuse God's remedy is found in Isaiah 42:3. A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out. In faithfulness he will bring forth justice (NIV). The tenderness of Christ is very evident in His dealings with the broken to bring healing to the most painful places in the heart. He is patient and kind to help those who have become their own victim. A person who struggles with self-abuse will most likely view God as one of the many who are just out to exploit and take advantage of them.
There is a choice to be made.
Do we believe God really cares about us? Do we believe He cares to help us though we keep doing things to our own destruction? Can we trust a mighty and powerful God to be tender with our bruised hearts and abused bodies?
It takes humility and courage only the Holy Spirit can give to a man or woman who will look away from their condition and say with assurance that God loves and cares for me.
Beloved, as I write this I sense there are many believers who can not say that well quoted Scripture in Romans 8:1 that tells us there is no condemnation in Christ without hating ourselves for failing so miserably. No matter the depths of folly there is a Scripture that has proven to be a great comfort.
Thou hast also given me the shield of thy salvation: and thy right hand hath holden me up, and thy gentleness hath made me great. (Psalms 18:35, KJV).
His gentleness and tenderness makes us greater and stronger than that which wants to bind us. Yes, His tenderness will dissolve the cords of self-hate and give way to freedom to know His love and care.
Right now ask Him to hold you.
His strength is enough to uphold you and His arms gentle so not to crush you.
And then there is self abuse.
I believe this form of abuse is just as devastating. Several weeks ago my sister's ex-husband lost his brother to alcoholism. My sister plead for him to stop but his condition worsen. She called for help but it was too late. His liver died from years of drinking and he bleed out.
Self abuse can take on any number of forms like cutting oneself, degrading sexual activities, alcohol or drugs. Or it can take the form of shutting down to the point you don't care and give up - sadly inviting opportunity for people to abuse you - only to see this as a form of punishment because you feel you deserve it.
I remember when a guest speaker told me that I loathed myself. Loath is a strong word for hate. I quietly agreed. I did and said things I regretted and hated living under the shadow of my shame (though God did not see it as such - whenever He forgives - He forgets, Isaiah 43:25).
Loathing is just one of the many roots that are tied to self-abuse. Yes, it's true that some people have done terrible things to another person who had not hated themselves until that moment of violation. Now they recriminate themselves when they did not do anything wrong.
Whatever the cause or reason for self abuse God's remedy is found in Isaiah 42:3. A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out. In faithfulness he will bring forth justice (NIV). The tenderness of Christ is very evident in His dealings with the broken to bring healing to the most painful places in the heart. He is patient and kind to help those who have become their own victim. A person who struggles with self-abuse will most likely view God as one of the many who are just out to exploit and take advantage of them.
There is a choice to be made.
Do we believe God really cares about us? Do we believe He cares to help us though we keep doing things to our own destruction? Can we trust a mighty and powerful God to be tender with our bruised hearts and abused bodies?
It takes humility and courage only the Holy Spirit can give to a man or woman who will look away from their condition and say with assurance that God loves and cares for me.
Beloved, as I write this I sense there are many believers who can not say that well quoted Scripture in Romans 8:1 that tells us there is no condemnation in Christ without hating ourselves for failing so miserably. No matter the depths of folly there is a Scripture that has proven to be a great comfort.
Thou hast also given me the shield of thy salvation: and thy right hand hath holden me up, and thy gentleness hath made me great. (Psalms 18:35, KJV).
His gentleness and tenderness makes us greater and stronger than that which wants to bind us. Yes, His tenderness will dissolve the cords of self-hate and give way to freedom to know His love and care.
Right now ask Him to hold you.
His strength is enough to uphold you and His arms gentle so not to crush you.
Saturday, June 13, 2015
Say Goodbye To Sadness
Sadness is a very interesting emotion because it does not always mean you are depressed or feel down. You could feel the blues when you hear news of a family member suffering from an illness or watching someone struggle to make it through life only to fail miserably time after time.
For example, my father has a heart for the elderly and respected them greatly for their life experiences and wisdom. Sometimes it sadness me to see the older generation being disrespected or made invisible by a more youthful and attractive generation. Some of these men and women had lived through the Great Depression or experienced the hardship resulting war (even fighting in it) and faced other life challenges in their time.
Some people are prone to feel sad much like my own melancholic personality. I believe there is a deep longing not so much for happiness but relief. Perhaps that is why many have contemplated suicide. Life for many is very difficult and pressing. In the end, there is a desire to have something to show for a life fully lived and to share it with others. Not to have a sense of hope that life is worth living is truly a sad state.
Often on the weekends my wife and I will take a long ride through the country. I share my mother's enjoyment of nature who takes hikes along mountain trails. Just the sight of leafy green trees and rolling hills lift my spirit. I feel the oppressive weight from a busy week drift away and a sense of light break through my cloudy soul. Nature the Scripture tells us declares the glory of God and perhaps only in this beautiful place can I say goodbye to sadness.
Psalms 43:5 says "Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again--my Savior and my God!" (NLT)
It's a good question to ask the Lord on occasion when you feel sad. I was surprised to learn that sadness may have nothing to do with me or my circumstances but simply experiencing the heart of God who breaks for those who are hurting. Sad people are not always depressed as I mentioned earlier but perhaps a very emphatic individual for a person who needs to know the God of hope.
Saying goodbye to sadness is when we can embrace this Scripture: Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy; no shadow of shame will darken their faces. (Psalms 34:5, NLT).
Whenever you are sad look upward not down and inward. Perhaps take a walk outside and look up at the beautiful sky laced with white billowy clouds (Psalms 123:1 and Psalms 121:1). Feel the warmth of the sun dance on your skin. Hear the birds sing. All of this speaks of God's care and His sovereign power to keep nature and you together. Better still the love of God will chase away any storm clouds of sadness with His glorious light.
Turn Your Eyes upon Jesus | Helen H. Lemmel
Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.
For example, my father has a heart for the elderly and respected them greatly for their life experiences and wisdom. Sometimes it sadness me to see the older generation being disrespected or made invisible by a more youthful and attractive generation. Some of these men and women had lived through the Great Depression or experienced the hardship resulting war (even fighting in it) and faced other life challenges in their time.
Some people are prone to feel sad much like my own melancholic personality. I believe there is a deep longing not so much for happiness but relief. Perhaps that is why many have contemplated suicide. Life for many is very difficult and pressing. In the end, there is a desire to have something to show for a life fully lived and to share it with others. Not to have a sense of hope that life is worth living is truly a sad state.
Often on the weekends my wife and I will take a long ride through the country. I share my mother's enjoyment of nature who takes hikes along mountain trails. Just the sight of leafy green trees and rolling hills lift my spirit. I feel the oppressive weight from a busy week drift away and a sense of light break through my cloudy soul. Nature the Scripture tells us declares the glory of God and perhaps only in this beautiful place can I say goodbye to sadness.
Psalms 43:5 says "Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again--my Savior and my God!" (NLT)
It's a good question to ask the Lord on occasion when you feel sad. I was surprised to learn that sadness may have nothing to do with me or my circumstances but simply experiencing the heart of God who breaks for those who are hurting. Sad people are not always depressed as I mentioned earlier but perhaps a very emphatic individual for a person who needs to know the God of hope.
Saying goodbye to sadness is when we can embrace this Scripture: Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy; no shadow of shame will darken their faces. (Psalms 34:5, NLT).
Whenever you are sad look upward not down and inward. Perhaps take a walk outside and look up at the beautiful sky laced with white billowy clouds (Psalms 123:1 and Psalms 121:1). Feel the warmth of the sun dance on your skin. Hear the birds sing. All of this speaks of God's care and His sovereign power to keep nature and you together. Better still the love of God will chase away any storm clouds of sadness with His glorious light.
Turn Your Eyes upon Jesus | Helen H. Lemmel
Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.
Saturday, June 6, 2015
Shattered
As a child our home life at times was unsettling because my parents' marriage was strained. One parent occasionally burst in a torrent of tears followed by screaming and tossing things about in sheer frustration. Peace was shattered. I became confused in trying to figure out what (or who) went wrong and how to restore harmony. It seemed just minutes before the house was quiet and restful. I soon learned the source of this emotional storm. The object of my parent's frustration was directed to the individual who sat on the couch watching television. Apparently unaffected by the maelstrom would quietly slip out the room only to make matters worse.
Little did I understood how those disruptive sounds had shattered something internally to deal with certain noises in my life. Of course, there was my own internal noise that had nothing to do with anyone or circumstances. God had to go to the root of the problem to bring me to a restful place.
As I grow older certain sounds like banging, slamming doors, loud voices etc create an emotional upset so severe that it required calling out to God for calmness. Depending on the noise and how long it continues, it can cause a rage that tightens my chest and constricts my breathing.
At the time of writing this blog I have lived in a studio that is anything but noise free - last year it was a single mother and daughter who had lived above us - the daughter often bounced a ball on the floor and constantly dropped things on the floor - now there's a new neighbor who walks heavily on the floor. Beside our studio is another neighbor doing construction at various hours and you can hear their conversations in our bathroom through the vent! To say the least we are looking for another place.
As a disability examiner I learned there is a condition called misophonia or selective sound sensitivity. It is a strong dislike or hatred of sounds - sounds uniquely distasteful to the individual - like gum smacking, dogs barking, breathing sounds etc. which can create strong emotional responses - as in my own experience. There is some treatment options to alleviate the discomfort like exercise, wearing earplugs (which I do nearly every night) and sound therapy (like white noise) to re-train the person's perception and hearing.
But I believe there is no greater healing than what God offers in the Scripture. My medicine is Psalms 23:2-3. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters [white noise, my words]. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.(KJV).
God knows how to stop a cacophony in the soul and make it a soothing symphony. Think of Saul distressed by an evil spirit until David played the harp! It's not easy when you don't have control over certain noises but God remains in control of our souls - to cause us to lay down in green pastures and lead us to waters that calm our noise shattered souls.
To those who have suffered from noise - a piercing scream of emotional pain or a gun blast taking a life in war or an angry firing of heated words that seared your mind or perhaps the dripping sound of those who repeatedly tell you how you'll never make it....
God says:
Peace be still.
And the waves and winds cease - at the sound of His calm yet powerful voice.
The voice of the LORD is upon the waters: the God of glory thundereth: the LORD is upon many waters.
Psalms 29:3, KJV
Little did I understood how those disruptive sounds had shattered something internally to deal with certain noises in my life. Of course, there was my own internal noise that had nothing to do with anyone or circumstances. God had to go to the root of the problem to bring me to a restful place.
As I grow older certain sounds like banging, slamming doors, loud voices etc create an emotional upset so severe that it required calling out to God for calmness. Depending on the noise and how long it continues, it can cause a rage that tightens my chest and constricts my breathing.
At the time of writing this blog I have lived in a studio that is anything but noise free - last year it was a single mother and daughter who had lived above us - the daughter often bounced a ball on the floor and constantly dropped things on the floor - now there's a new neighbor who walks heavily on the floor. Beside our studio is another neighbor doing construction at various hours and you can hear their conversations in our bathroom through the vent! To say the least we are looking for another place.
As a disability examiner I learned there is a condition called misophonia or selective sound sensitivity. It is a strong dislike or hatred of sounds - sounds uniquely distasteful to the individual - like gum smacking, dogs barking, breathing sounds etc. which can create strong emotional responses - as in my own experience. There is some treatment options to alleviate the discomfort like exercise, wearing earplugs (which I do nearly every night) and sound therapy (like white noise) to re-train the person's perception and hearing.
But I believe there is no greater healing than what God offers in the Scripture. My medicine is Psalms 23:2-3. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters [white noise, my words]. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.(KJV).
God knows how to stop a cacophony in the soul and make it a soothing symphony. Think of Saul distressed by an evil spirit until David played the harp! It's not easy when you don't have control over certain noises but God remains in control of our souls - to cause us to lay down in green pastures and lead us to waters that calm our noise shattered souls.
To those who have suffered from noise - a piercing scream of emotional pain or a gun blast taking a life in war or an angry firing of heated words that seared your mind or perhaps the dripping sound of those who repeatedly tell you how you'll never make it....
God says:
Peace be still.
And the waves and winds cease - at the sound of His calm yet powerful voice.
The voice of the LORD is upon the waters: the God of glory thundereth: the LORD is upon many waters.
Psalms 29:3, KJV